Everywhere we go, people stop and make a fuss over baby Stephanie. She's a darling! She's gorgeous! What a sweetie! Look at those cheeks! What a happy girl! They go on and on, and we just stand there and grin proudly. But every now and again, we encounter people who are different (weird different) from the others, like the lady last week who offered to help me when she saw I was holding Stephanie, my purse, our jackets, and trying to pick up another bag...and then she snatched Stephanie rather than handing me the bag (this resulted in instant baby tears and almost-released Mama whoop-ass). Today was a prize-winner. We were in a cafe sharing a muffin (which Stephanie was shoveling in with gusto), when a lady at a nearby table caught sight of Stephanie. She broke her conversation with the other ladies at the table to make the normal cooing-over-baby noises, reaching over to stroke Stephanie's pink Polo sweater (fab gift from Auntie Awesome) and saying, "This sweater is lovely! A total waste of money, but lovely!" Then, she reached to stroke Stephanie's bare leg, saying, "You're gorgeous! Yes, you are! But you'd better watch that eating. You don't want to keep these fat knees. Oh no!"
I honestly couldn't tell if she was serious.