Sunday, September 13, 2009

The Secret to a Happy Marriage

In my first draft of this post, I wrote "I'm not going to pretend I have the answer (though I think Markus and I are doing pretty darn good)" before carrying on with the next paragraph, but that's pretty lame. If you are interested in my brief take, carry on; if not, skip on down to the last paragraph. In keeping with the style of the posts that inspired this one, I'll upload a photo of Markus and me soon. I searched through and realized today that I don't have any of us just as a couple since we were just a couple (pre-kidlets).
The truth is that I don't know the secret, but I believe it's critical to start with a strong foundation. Although we've only been married for five years, we've been a couple for nine and friends for thirteen. In our lifestyle (living internationally and moving frequently), often your spouse is the only person you have, so you'd better have the right one. Markus and I have experienced in the five years of our marriage many things that some couples don't experience in 20, but we're still together and don't want to be any other way. I think it's because we value and respect each other, and we don't take each other for granted (guaranteed relationship poison). I say "thank you" when he takes out the trash even though he does it every time; he always tells me our meals are delicious, even when I make him scrambled eggs.
Before I got married, my hilarious friend Meg told me to remember that marriage is a choice you make every day...but she didn't stop there. She said,
"You choose to be married every day. To love him anyway, every day. Like when I get up in the night to pee and my a** splashes in the toilet because he forgot to put the seat down AGAIN and I think that's IT, I'm going to KILL him, it's OVER...and then I remember our children and how sad it would be for them to grow up without a father because of a toilet seat, and I choose not to kill him, to love him anyway, to be married every day..."
This story is a lot funnier if you know that Meg looks like the most lovable elementary school teacher on the planet (which she is); she also used to pinch my behind on the way out of staff meetings. That's Meg.

I wanted to share with you a series of blog posts I found here. The woman who writes this blog is away on her honeymoon, and she asked her friends and fellow bloggers to share their advice for a happy relationship. One of them also linked this powerful essay from the New York Times. I enjoyed reading all the posts and looking at the sweet photos, and I hope you will too.

1 comment:

Karly said...

Thanks for sharing Jen...I haven't read the blog yet, but the article was great.