Since about midday, there has been a slowly tightening, clenching grip around my heart. It's squeezing the air out of my lungs and tensing my entire body. I couldn't name it until about 20 minutes ago when I was gazing out the window while washing laundry and suddenly pictured my dad sitting outside our back door in the sun, smoking a pipe and enjoying this gorgeous weather. Tomorrow is the 3rd anniversary of his death. Cancer is a horrible, awful beast, but grief...that sneaky bugger is almost worse.