Friday, May 01, 2009

Stealthy dark clouds

Since about midday, there has been a slowly tightening, clenching grip around my heart. It's squeezing the air out of my lungs and tensing my entire body. I couldn't name it until about 20 minutes ago when I was gazing out the window while washing laundry and suddenly pictured my dad sitting outside our back door in the sun, smoking a pipe and enjoying this gorgeous weather. Tomorrow is the 3rd anniversary of his death. Cancer is a horrible, awful beast, but grief...that sneaky bugger is almost worse.


Karly said...

Oh Jen...I've been thinking of you and wondering how you were doing...I knew it was coming up...just know that you have lots and lots of love flowing in your direction. Call me if you need to at ANY hour (and I mean that). Love you lots.

Anonymous said...

Oh my dear my dear. Grief is truly a dagger to the heart, sharp and jagged and vicious at first, but every now and then it twists and brings back all the pain anew. I am so sorry for your grief, and I want you to know you are deeply, gratefully, endlessly loved by BOTH your parents. I believe love is stronger than sickness, stronger than disease. stronger than death. He has taken his love from you with him, and left his love for you here on earth with you. He is on a different journey now, and has no more pain or suffering. I only wish I could pray that for you too.

All my love always,