42

Okay, galaxy hitchhikers, what is the answer to life, the universe and everything?

42!

Starting off with our traditional Geburtstagbrezel and presents, then out to test-drive Mini Coopers (because why not?), a stop in at a jewelry store to admire fancy stones (again, just looking so why not?), yummy lunch out, and...a date out on the Leeuwin tall ship while the girls have a play at a friend's house. What a fantastic way to spend the day!

Happy Birthday, Markus! We love you!

It's hard being 3

Our house was due for inspection today. In Australia, the rental company inspects the property every 12 weeks, assuring the owner there is no damage (and often checking up on the tenants' housekeeping skills as a side effect). I've been cleaning all morning, and the girls were happily engaged in one of their favorite past-times, dancing. After a while, they asked and I readily agreed to put on the DVD of Ellie's ballet recital so they could dance along. It bought me such good uninterrupted cleaning time that I broke my own rule and put on a second dance DVD afterwards. That didn't work out so well.

On my pass through the living room, I could see they were both sitting and watching rather than dancing. Watching is almost always bad news. Inevitably, they get tired and grumpy and begin to squabble. It wasn't long before Ellie came to tattle on Stephanie for hitting. When I tried to have a talk with her, she bit me...HARD (yes, she broke the skin, through my shorts!). I couldn't believe it. I tossed her into her room for time out, and she spit in my face when it was time to come out. Repeatedly. This is not the Stephanie we know at all.

And then I remembered: she's 3. I've been cleaning and busy all morning, putting her needs (and whims) on the back burner. No, I can't keep doing your costume changes, sweetie. Okay, one last hairstyle change but that's it! Stephanie, I'm cleaning! It was a bit too much. Understandably.

Priority reminder!

The house inspection is important, sure, but these are my children. It was time to decide the house was "clean enough". Let the inspection chips fall where they may. I pulled her into my lap for a long, soft cuddle and felt her little body completely relax. Then, I read her a story and then another. And she wrapped her little arms around my neck, gave me a huge squeeze and apologized from the bottom of her sweet little heart for biting me and spitting. Balance is restored. Everyone is happy and relaxed again.

And you know what? The inspection went just fine.

His little shopping companion

In our current home, the grocery store is just across the road. When we need something simple and quick (out of milk?), one of us will zip over and pick up said item. Stephanie usually wants to come along. When she goes with Markus, she perches on his shoulders (usually in her pjs and without shoes).

Surf girls

Markus has been home with us for the time spanning Christmas to New Year's, and we've all been enjoyed a brilliant family vacation at home. Every afternoon when the sun relents just a bit, we head to the beach for fun in the surf. By mid-afternoon, the Fremantle Doctor blows in and churns the sea into some fun waves at the shoreline. This week, it seems the girls have lost all fear (as long as they are clinging to Papa) and love jumping the waves, no matter how big and how strong, laughing hysterically all the while.

Afterwards, they munch sandwiches in the sand and Papa enjoys a swim like the happy fish he is.

Sometimes, they get a wee bit worn out by the adventure...

Stephanie curled up on the bathroom floor before showering off the sand. Sweetie was in bed asleep by 6:30pm.

Good times!

Today was a public holiday here in Australia, a bonus day off since New Year's was on a Sunday. Markus goes back to work tomorrow (sigh). We've been so happy enjoying such good family time together over the past week and a half. At some point today, the girls realized he had to go back to work, which drew out a disappointed "Awwww!" Despair quickly returned to joy when they remembered they didn't have to go back to school.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, everyone!

We've made some resolutions/plans that excite us, and we're looking forward to a fantastic 2012! Wishing you and yours a wonderful, healthy year to come!

Our family's holiday traditions and reflections on 2011

As our family grows and changes together, we find our holiday traditions evolving as well.

This year, I added the tradition of new summer solstice pajamas to mark the longest day. I hope to have an annual tradition of new season pjs on summer and winter solstice each year (and a fun bonfire for winter solstice). The girls loved this first go!

We're still working out present opening for Christmas. Markus's family opens all presents on Christmas Eve; mine does one on Christmas Eve and the rest on Christmas morning. This year, we made a hybrid version and opened all on Christmas Eve but eagerly awaited one present each from Santa on Christmas morning.

Today is the last day of 2011. We have a nicely established New Year's Day tradition of enjoying Neujahrsbrezel for breakfast in the morning, but we haven't been marking the last day of the year. Spurred on by some reflection questions I found on a blog, I mentioned the idea of sitting together and talking about the year together. Ellie hopped on board with gusto, mentioning it again before breakfast and again before lunch. For instant gratification, I downloaded the pdf of the questions I found and we sat and answered them together as a family. It was a lovely exercise, one I hope to carry forward in years to come.

What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

M: My mom moving to her house in Hannover

J: Spending time with both grandparents on my last US visit

E: New Zealand because I like the long plane ride and I like the museum

What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

M: Maintaining good work morale

J: The international moving limbo began

E: Trying to catch Figaro with Papa

(Figaro is our canary. We often let him out to fly around the house, but he doesn't care for being recaptured each time.)

What was an unexpected joy this past year?

M: Being able to go on so many vacations (Albany, New Zealand, Bali, Rottnest, Bali)

J: Watching Ellie thrive in Middle Primary and her reading take off like a rocket

E: I wasn't expecting to go to my art class because I didn't know because you didn't tell me.

(and she really liked that art class)

What was an unexpected obstacle?

M: Not being able to participate in the October job round.

J: Ditto.

E: When I couldn't really ride the pushbike yet, I could go straight and around the curves but I tried to ride around the table and I couldn't.

Pick three words to describe 2011.

M: Exhausting. Brilliant family.

J: Full. Challenging. Changes!

E: Middle Primary. Reading. (Mama gave these words as samples and she wanted to use them)

Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2011 (don't ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you).

M: Stressed, stressed, stressed.

J: Knitting, yoga, scooter. (joking!)

Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2011 (again, without asking).

M: Thankful. Fun times.

J: Stressed. Holiday. Stressed.

What were the best books you read this year?

M: The Life of Pi. I Heard The Owl Call My Name. (rereads)

J: Buddhism for Mothers series. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.

E: Hush, Little One. Disney Princess books. Poems. (these were sitting next to her chair when we answered questions today. Her big favorites not mentioned have been the Charlie and Lola books, Conni books in German, the Lost and Found picture books and the Rainbow Fairies series.)

S: Lost and Found books. Edward the Emu. Room on the Broom.

What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

M: Work strain aged me by more than a year.

J: Stephanie started school and I had time alone during the day for the first time in more than six years (it was a harder adjustment than I thought it would be).

E: I went to Middle Primary and started reading.

In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?

M: Learning not to let others upset me.

J: Reading about Buddhist practices helped me to be more even, less reactive.

In what way(s) did you grow physically?

M: Midline expansion.

J: More frequent yoga was fantastic.

E: I can do handstands and cartwheels. I lost six baby teeth!

In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?

M: Letting my sister deal with certain things in her own way rather than trying to dictate

J: Spending time with my grandparents felt invaluable. I know I need to give the more, at least in terms of communication.

What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

M: I repaired the Bose dock. (man, did he love repairing the Bose dock)

J: The time I get with my family. Even when my stay-at-home status is trying, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

What was the best way you used your time this past year?

M: Morning sports, motorcycling to work, glorious weekends with my family.

J: More yoga. More reading about Buddhist applications to my life. Taking baby steps towards better balance for self. Having time during the week for errands and home jobs allowed me to relax and enjoy each weekend with family like a mini-holiday.

What was the biggest thing you learned this past year?

M: How to repair the Bose dock.

J: In terms of a skill, I learned basic piano and introductory music reading.

Questions we made up for 2012:

What do you most look forward to for 2012?

M: A new job. Seeing more extended family and friends again.

J: Seeing more extended family and friends again because we'll be closer (heck, almost anywhere will be closer!)

What would you want to do differently?

M: New job. Eat less sugar.

J: Talk less, listen more. Concentrate on what I want to build in my relationships with my children.

What would you like to do more of?

M: Teach my children more.

J: More date time with Markus when we're both awake. More exercise. More deliberate, healthy eating.

What would you like to learn?

M: Improve my sailing and motorcycle skills.

J: I'd like to read more non-fiction books, acquiring new information in that way.

Christmas in the sun

What do you do after opening presents, enjoying a special breakfast, and talking with family on Christmas morning? If you live in Perth, Australia, and want to maximize an absolutely perfect summer morning, you do this:

Afterwards, enjoy a (not really) traditional peanut butter and jelly sandwich as you dry off in the sunshine.

Merry Christmas!

Opening gifts

Thank you all for your generosity!
We love you!
Merry Christmas!

A higher resolution version of this movie can be found here.

Apologies

I have been very absent from this space this year, leaving you a picture of a girl peeing in the river as your touchstone with us for the past month plus. Oops. The truth is I posted that as a funny and I hadn't remembered to come back and post more of our daily lives since then.

I don't know about you, but I find the year slams into warp speed just before Thanksgiving. We compounded this by taking a little family vacation just then, arriving home the week of Thanksgiving (and five important birthdays, nearly all of which I missed or acknowledged belatedly--again, big oops). Since then, it has been warp speed, Mr. Sulu!

The girls have been out of school since December 9. That has been a very good thing. As much as Ellie loves middle primary, she was ready for a break. Stephanie never happily resettled into school after our holiday, so she was extremely ready for a break. We've been keeping ourselves busy ever since. I find I have no time once again, which is a readjustment from having weekday time while they were both in school. Now I have NO time until they are in bed, but by then, I admit I'm pretty tired and useless. The summer days mean the birds start at 4:30am, the sky is light by 5, and the girls haven't slept past 6. After 6 years of living with these little early risers, I wish I could say I have adjusted to hitting my day with both feet running at such early hours...but I haven't!

Now, Markus will be home with us for the next week plus (hooray!), so we'll have some nice family vacation time at home while Perth empties as its residents head for Bali, Rottnest, Margaret River...and we enjoy all the beauty that life at home has to offer. A Christmas swim in the Indian Ocean, anyone?

Merry Christmas!

Christmas dancer

She has danced around the tree every day in December.

Merry Christmas to you!

When you've gotta go, you've gotta go.

Edging her way in

When she thought no one was watching, she danced along.

Too nervous to join the class outright, she slowly makes her way towards her sister. Notice how carefully she steps in time to the music. Alas, the music stops before she reaches her goal...

Mamas always know

Last night when I did my usual checks on the girls before going up to bed, I paused longer in Ellie's room. We had a powerful heatwave recently that prompted us to change to summer quilts, but cool air has come back at night. I asked Markus if he thought Ellie would be warm enough. He thought she would. A few minutes later, I asked him if he thought I shouldn't give her a warmer blanket. He said he thought she would be fine.

She was in our room at 3:45am, telling us she was too cold.

Why did I ask him twice?

I already knew.

So often, I do this. I know, but I ask, not just Hubby but others as well. I'm not sure why I don't put more faith in my intuition, but from here on, I'm going to give that a try.

Manic Monday

I awoke to the sound of something shattering.

The 4th shattered item in a week.

The carved ostrich egg Kurt had given us.

A sad accident. Buddhist non-attachment is hard when sentiment is strong.

Wildness this morning that nothing could touch.

I cooked waffles, reheated pancakes, baked chocolate cupcakes for the afternoon

And then I ate my own breakfast.

As I sat down, I realized the crazy had somehow stopped, and I enjoyed two girls coloring and singing side, happy and settled at last.

And now it is 8am.

New challenges

Ellie and Stephanie have discovered a new friend--a six year old girl named Leyna--just over our back fence. I should say "through our back fence," because we peeled off two boards so the girls could pass through it rather than precariously clamber over the top. Ellie went over the first time by herself, but Stephanie could not, resulting in tears of heartbreak. Leyna invited them both, so we all walked around the block...but I had to stay because the girls couldn't walk it alone on such a busy road. The fence hole seemed a better idea. Alas, it is hard to regulate. They are through it at a moment's notice, usually without asking us. We've never had immediate access to a friend like this before, so I'm hoping once the novelty wears off a bit, it will be easier for them to follow some ground rules.

Leyna has presented a new parenting challenge for us. She has an older brother and no younger siblings. This is very obvious in how she speaks. She vacillates between being kind and taunting. When I called Ellie to me for taunting Stephanie, she only came after several requests (making me most irritated) and then loudly announced, "I'll come but I won't listen because this is going to be BORING." Ahem. Another time, I overheard Leyna telling Ellie that she didn't have to listen to me, they could just go to her (Leyna's) house and do whatever they want. Stephanie reports they go in Leyna's pantry and get lots of snacks when her mom isn't watching.

While my first instinct is to nip this friendship in the bud (grrr!), I know that is not the answer. I cannot always control who their friends will be, nor should I. Leyna is a nice girl and her parents seem like nice people. I can visualize everything she has done or said to raise my hackles is something she has seen or heard from her older brother and his friends. She is just far more typical of kids this age than any of the friends we already have. By sending our girls to a private, philosophy-based school, the pool of behaviours we witness is significantly altered from the mainstream (typically, parents at our school have chosen to parent off the grid). I think there's also the issue that Ellie is getting older now, and kids this age are less under direct parental influence than they were a year or two ago. Kids this age behave as they believe they should, which is not necessarily how their parents believe they should (philosophy-based or not). I don't want our girls to be unable to socialize with "normal" kids but I don't want them to adopt undesirable behaviours either. Time to break out some parenting books...

The girls spent the bulk of the day playing quite happily with Leyna on Friday, passing frequently through the fence to play in one house or the other. I sewed the morning away and Markus rested as much as he could tolerate (engineers don't idle well). Friday afternoon brought on a host of miserable behaviours (see above paragraphs), so we shifted into family-time mode for the late afternoon. The pattern of Saturday was much the same, so Markus and I agreed Sunday needed to be family-only. We patrolled the hole in the fence like hawks (not very fun) and then went out for the afternoon. Behaviours were markedly more normal. Whew.

Ellie's stress levels seem very high lately, and we've been getting a lot of backtalk, a lot of rudeness. She is throwing whooper tantrums again. She loses her cool with Stephanie. She has taken to sneaking treats from the pantry, getting up extremely early in the morning (around 5am) to do so. I caught her red-handed on Saturday morning (even Markus the early riser was still asleep), and she was so embarrassed she ran back to her room, curled up under her covers and silently cried as I stroked her hair. Poor mite. This is not to say these things happen all the time (though I suspect the treat-sneaking does), but the increase in crazy is noticeable to us. We think this is part of a new phase of her development and behaviours she is being exposed to through other kids, and again it's a reminder that we need to adjust our parenting strategy.

Sick again

Ellie and Markus are once again out of commission. They have caught a random errant bug that leaves them both sniffly and coughing and feeling more than slightly gross. Ellie was home from school on Thursday due to an extreme case of the sniffles that brought on an even more Extreme Case of Drama. Friday is a public holiday in honour of the Queen's birthday (not her real birthday but she's here in Perth right now, so that's just as good!). We'll use this weekend for good times and downtime so they can rest and recoup.

She loves all creatures

Yesterday after school, Stephanie captured quite a number of snails before we clambered into the car.

We watched them for a while, and then she gathered them up into a plastic container for the journey home.

I tried to convince her to put them back in the grass, that they wanted to be free, but she firmly replied:

They're tired! They don't want to be free! They want to sleep in their own box!

(As I tried to suppress my smile, she added...)

Can I keep them in my room every night and every day?

Because I don't have a pet and I need pets!

(We did later set them free. She ultimately acknowledged that they failed to appreciate her hospitality and kept trying to escape.)

Practical (un)dress

She said her clothes would get wet otherwise.

Indeed, they would.

Back to school today

And out like a light soon thereafter...

Rosie was here!

Last night, well after she was supposed to be asleep, I heard Ellie's light flick on. She was up! Why? She finally managed to work loose the tooth she had been wobbling for over a week. The Tooth Fairy was coming! She could hardly contain her excitement! I tried tucking her into bed to sleep, telling her the Tooth Fairy wouldn't come if she was awake, but she had an answer for that (of course). Ellie said on the very first tooth she lost, she was awake when the Tooth Fairy came. Her own Tooth Fairy's name is Rosie. She has a pink dress and pink shoes and a silver wand and yellow plaited hair and she talked to Ellie for a long time that first visit. She could hardly wait for Rosie to come back! And of course, she did! Ellie carried her dollar coin around all day and showed everyone she could.

Ellie is convinced the Tooth Fairy enters our home through a tiny hole cut in the weather-strip of the front door. This morning, she checked for Tooth Fairy dust near the hole and was overjoyed to find some! This time, the fairy dust was white. The first time it was pink. The second time it was blue. She is thinking perhaps Rosie is a rainbow fairy sometimes.

(fairy dust on her hands for all to admire. you can see the hole and her new coin too)

She is so proud...and she's already started trying to wobble one vaguely loose top tooth.