Mixed message? I think not.

Recently, I have been reading about effective communication as part of my doula training course. One aspect of effective communication is congruence of verbal and nonverbal expression. Non-verbal communication can have a far greater impact than verbal communication, so it is important the two convey the same message. The training manual says that when the two are not congruent, the message that will be most effectively conveyed is that you are not to be trusted; I might tweak that to say at least your verbal communication would be questionable to the recipient. For example, Ellie is a notoriously picky eater. She says (loudly, decisively) that she does not like oatmeal. Yet, when I serve her oatmeal for breakfast, her non-verbal communication looks like this:


Hm...