As fair warning, this isn't a happy posting, but I wanted to update those of you who want to know.

Ellie and I made it to Mississippi without too many issues (all flights were delayed, we missed one, rebooked, blah blah blah...but she was an ANGEL the whole time!).
Dad was hanging on for us. For the past two days, we've been spending the days at his house and sleeping at the home of a wonderful family friend in town. Dad is in his final days. He won't eat, he's jaundiced, and his body is wasted away from the struggle with the cancer. It's amazing what changes have been wrought in him since we left for Qatar two months ago. We don't think he will be with us much longer, though he may surprise us. He either sleeps or persists in a semi-conscious state most of the time, though there are moments of brilliant lucidity when he'll even give us a smile or two. I pray that he will find peace soon.
Markus is working like a madman back in Qatar (don't get us started!), but he hopes to join us here as soon as possible.
We're trying our best on this end to hold it together. Thoughts and prayers are appreciated.

Over the past few weeks, the number of personal emails I’ve written has been steadily diminishing until now it’s close to zero. While I have read and appreciated each and every email people have written to me, I’d like to use tonight’s blog to explain why I haven’t written much in return.
The whole move/transition here has been challenging in many ways. Most of the time, I try to keep it light and on the bright side. After all, there are silver linings to be found if you know where to look. The blog has pretty much kept everyone up to date on these things.
Starting last week, however, there has been a big omission. As many of our friends know, my dad (Jennifer’s dad) has been undergoing chemotherapy for colon cancer. Colon cancer is one of the easiest cancers to cure if it’s caught early, so I encourage everyone (and everyone you care about) to get an annual screening test done starting at age 50 (40, if you have a family history). Dad’s cancer wasn’t caught early, and (thanks in large part to Hurricane Katrina), his treatment wasn’t started promptly either.
When Markus moved to Doha for work, Ellie and I stayed behind with Dad for a couple of months. During that time, he was struggling with his chemo, but generally he was responding well and scans showed that the tumors were shrinking (i.e., the chemo was doing its job). He still had a lot of pain that went unexplained (increasing pain despite increasing pain meds), but he was okay most of the time.
Recently, the pain and other troubles got the better of him and he was readmitted to the hospital. We’ve subsequently learned that the cancer is just about everywhere, and he’s experiencing tremendous pain caused by extensive cancer in his bones (spine, hip, some ribs…). By the end of last week, the decision was made to stop the chemotherapy and focus on quality of life. Medications were increased. Hospice was called in to provide daily home care (a nurse comes by for a little time each day). A hospital bed was moved into the house. Dad was sent home.
Ellie and I will be headed back to the US tomorrow night (Doha time), arriving Thursday evening (Ocean Springs time). While the weekend went relatively well and Dad seemed relatively comfortable (eschewing the hospital bed for his leather recliner), he seems to have taken a turn for the worse in the past 24 hours. We’re hoping that it’s just a (very) low point and he’ll perk up again, but that’s where it stands for now.
That’s all I can really write at this point, but I just wanted to let everyone know what’s going on. Please keep writing me emails about what’s going on in your life. I really want to know and I am checking for them every day! It helps to let my mind escape from time to time. Just please understand that I may take an extra while to write back.
God bless you all.

Today, we had some kind of minor dust/sand storm. Imagine a very hazy day, but turn the haze beige and that's what it looked like around here. EVERYTHING was coated in a thick layer of dust, and we could even feel it coming in through the car's air conditioning. Yow.
Five minutes ago, it started dripping rain. Not much, just drips...but who knew it could make us so happy? Our world needs a good rinse!

Ellie is such a little love! She gives Markus and I kisses on the cheek, and her latest, greatest sign of affection is nose bites. When she's feeling really lovey, we have to be prepared for our noses to be coated in drool. Today, we experienced something new. She kissed her friends! Watch out for nose bites!

I didn't realize how much I miss New Orleans and still lament Katrina until I saw this video.
It's a must see.
Wow.

http://humidcity.blogspot.com/2006/04/kalypsos-new-orleans.html

Markus worked diligently to hang our shade sail this afternoon. Once it was up, though, we realized that the only way to prevent tremendous sagging in the middle was to prop it with a pole. Having lived in the South hasn't left Markus without redneck tendencies. Notice our new pole...half his windsurfer mast topped with a hard hat, propped on the outdoor lamp. Excellent.

Ellie is an Aqua Baby!
This morning, Ellie and I went to her first "water familiarization class" (AKA "Aqua Babes"). It was at the pool of the really nice Al Fardan compound. There were six other babies and moms there, and what fun! The lady who led the class (Daniela) taught us some songs with motions that had us dancing, kicking and splashing in the pool. At first, Ellie wasn't too sure this was a good idea. She looked very worried and clung to me like a little monkey. My initial attempts to extricate her fingers from my neck were met with tears; however, she quickly began to relax and marvel at so many other babies in the pool. In the end, she did wonderfully! She was floating along on her tummy (Mommy supported, of course), kicking her legs and reaching for toys with her arms. We're so happy to have discovered this group!
Of course, all that swimming does leave a girl exhausted...

Inshallah.
How much is summed up in that one word?
When the locals say "inshallah", it roughly translates to "God willing." They use it when they make appointments (as in "I'll be there at 3pm, God willing"). They use it for nearly anything. It certainly applies to trying to accomplish anything here.
Two days ago, I snagged the car's bumper on a rusty post while exiting a souq. The damage is minimal and can be fixed easily, but in Doha, you have to get a police report for any vehicle damage before it's allowed to be repaired. Yes, I had to go to the police station to get a police report because I snagged a bumper on a darned rusty post. INSHALLAH!
Luckily, I was with a good friend, who helped me through the insanity of it all. We drove to the traffic police straight away. It was 11:30am. Businesses close down from noon to four, so I only had a little time. I called ahead and they said to come, so I went. We parked the car, and I went inside. The officer told me (in limited English) to park the car out back and wait. So we moved the car and waited. And waited. And waited. (thank goodness Ellie was sleeping!) Finally, my friend went in search of a restroom. When she came out, she met a policeman and asked him about what we should do next. He told her that they weren't writing any more reports for the day and we should come back tomorrow. ARGH!
I've been feeling a bit stressed, so I went to him near tears, explained I had a baby in the car... He relented, told us to xerox all of our documents (license, registration, residency card) quickly and bring it to him. Then he said he would write the report and we could pick it up in the morning. Okay. Done.
I went back yesterday morning, but he wasn't there. Another policeman was. I waited for about an hour in a hot room full of foreign men who don't believe in deodorant while that policeman ignored me. Finally, a very nice Qatari man in a dish-dasha asked in wonderful English if I had been helped. I said no, and he started arguing with the policeman on my behalf. The policeman made this nice Qatari man act as translator, speaking to him in Arabic and refusing to attempt English. At last, he relented and said he'd look for the report. The Qatari man went outside, and the policeman went back to dealing with other people in Arabic. After about fifteen minutes, the Qatari man came back, saw me sitting there, and resumed the fight...at which point the policeman told him that I should just come back tomorrow. ARGH again!
This morning, Markus came with me. Having a man there works wonders for getting someone to pay attention to you! Also, the policeman from the first day was there (as was loser guy from yesterday). They attended to us right away. Here's the best part. When the nice policeman had trouble understanding the nature of my accident (because his English was limited), he had to ask the guy from yesterday...who sheepishly had to be the translator! THE SAME GUY WHO ACTED LIKE HE DIDN'T SPEAK ENGLISH YESTERDAY SO HE WOULDN'T HAVE TO HELP ME WAS THE TRANSLATOR THIS MORNING! Oy.

A stupid mistake turned three day hassle with Doha police. Get a police report for insurance, my fanny. Inshallah!

This evening, Markus went blocarting on Tatooine.



Later, back on Earth, we purchased a new DVD. LOVE the parental guidance label...one must always be concerned about PERIL!!



And last but not least, a word on mail (thank you for the reminder, Gail!). Just add it to my ever-growing list of things I find strange and uncomfortable around here. Mail is not delivered to the house. Anyone's house (except probably the Emir). How strange it feels not to check the mail every day (even though I'm used to bills and junk). To receive mail, one has to pay for a P.O. box in the center of town (all neighborhood branch boxes are fully rented out). For an additional fee of around 1400 riyals per year, a service will collect the mail from your box and deliver it to you at your office. Or you can just have the mail sent directly to your work address. That's what we're planning to do.

Happy Birthday, Uncle Bob!
Big hugs to you from Doha!

Welcome to our 'hood!





On this picture tour, you just drove up our street (Al Andalus) from the main drag of our 'hood, Al Mirqab. Up the street, through the CNN reminders, past the butcher, baker, and (no, not candlestick maker) laundry to the entrance of our compound (notice the Pepsi machine landmark!) and up to our house. Comments welcome!

Happy Mohammed's Birthday!
To celebrate, the loudspeaker chanting began at midnight last night and continued for an hour or so (maybe longer), and it was back again from 6a-8a, in addition to all the usual chanting, of course. Wow. Funnily enough, it's not a public holiday.

It's Sunday, and thus starts another week here in Doha (workdays run from Sunday to Thursday here). Over the past weekend, we gave ourselves a day off from the headache of transitional woes to relax at the spa. Doha is such a mixed place. It's a developing country with a LOT of money. Fifty years ago, this place was desert. Now, it's growing at such a pace that it can't keep up with itself. You can find a level of luxury here that possibly exceeds what can be found in the West...but then you see that this growth and this luxury is had on the backs of immigrants from Sri Lanka, Thailand, the Philippines, Romania, and a host of other undeveloped countries. We live in an area not much populated by expats. Our friend Kelcey refers to the place as our "hood", and she's onto something there! There's no crime to speak of in Doha, so we have no worries, but this area is pretty run down. Another friend said driving to our house felt like watching something on CNN...except he was in it. We live near a few mosques, so every day we can hear numerous calls to prayer (which is pretty neat, actually). There are very few white people around (or Arabs, for that matter), and only the working class seems to do much shopping on the nearby street...making us stick out like white pebbles on a brown beach when we take a stroll. On the other hand, we just spent the past month (or more) living in the RITZ CARLTON with a marble bathroom, Bulgari soaps, and access to the Executive Club Lounge. Now, our "club" (which would be the JCC back in New Orleans) is the Four Seasons Health and Wellness Spa. It is fancy-schmanzy (way too much so for us, but it was the best choice out of available options). We spent Friday there, introducing Ellie to sand on their man-made beach and grass on their lawn (sad how rare greenery is here!). It's always wonderful to watch her have new experiences, and we had a wonderful time on Friday. The pictures should show you a bit of what we saw and did. Still, imagine going from that back to our hood...it's all very strange here.

Customs is very strict here in Qatar. We were warned that all of our boxes would be opened, and any items offensive to Islam would be removed. Certainly our boxes were opened, and many items were removed, though we’re sure that not all were offensive to Islam…but what can we do? Some things have been imported in the past that should not have been allowed. If only they had known, surely the strict customs officials would have blocked them. I’m thinking here about BRITISH ROUND-ABOUTS.
For the uninitiated, round-abouts are a traffic solution found throughout Britain. They are placed at intersections to avoid installation of traffic lights. In Britain, there are very strict rules about driving behavior in the round-abouts, and the whole situation works out pretty well. Traffic generally keeps flowing, despite the four-way interchange. Not so in Doha.
The colonial legacy of round-abouts might work if people knew the rules (or cared to follow them), but naturally they don’t. Drivers here may or may not have had any driving training (they may or may not have licenses or insurance for that matter), so they enter the round-abouts from every which way, change lanes without rhyme or reason, exit right from the far left…it’s total mayhem. We have to be incredibly vigilant in observing and anticipating actions of fellow drivers to avoid crashes at every interchange. Round-abouts are at nearly every intersection (though they are slowly being replaced by traffic lights), and the traffic backs up like you wouldn’t believe. To make things worse, the police often “help” clear traffic at the maddest round-abouts by stopping and starting traffic on their own…often halting the traffic already in the round-about to allow dozens of new cars to enter. It’s chaos. For extra fun, there are no left turns (only doubling back at the next round-about). When planning a drive, you have to plan ahead to end up on the correct side of the road as your destination, which often results in detours of several miles or at least several minutes. A small example happened yesterday, when it took me just 8 minutes to get from the hotel to the location of my destination…but 15 more minutes to get from that spot to the other side of the street, where my destination actually was.
Add to this the fact that the roads are not in any way equipped to handle the volume of traffic, and you have a very messy situation. Construction is underway all over the city, and roads that we drove on today might not be there tomorrow. You think I’m kidding, but we’ve already experienced that very thing! The country has so much money that it seems to have undertaken whatever projects it can think up at the moment the idea occurs. And we thought driving in Houston was ridiculous. Oy!
But enough venting about traffic. At least the British didn’t successfully export their driving on the left, yes?

It seems tonight will be our last night in the hotel. Our things were delivered to the house at Palm Plaza as scheduled last week, and we have unpacked. Unfortunately, the company did not get around to fixing any of the items we’d submitted before move-in. The air conditioners don’t work in most rooms, and the dirty (smelly and stained) carpets and (slightly moldy) drapes have not been cleaned…thus, we have remained in the Ritz. When we called Human Resources (HR) today to ask about a timeline for maintenance and repair (this was our third call since Thursday), all they seemed to hear was that we are still in the hotel. Within hours, they hadn’t arranged for maintenance, but they HAD arranged for us to check-out tomorrow. For those of you who want reading the blog to feel as though you were talking to us, feel free to insert as many bad words at this point as you like. Needless to say, we are none too pleased with HR.

In other news, Jennifer started Arabic lessons yesterday! I love learning new things, and I get a real kick out of new languages. Last night, we started with basic introductions (my name is…, I am from…). My favorite word from yesterday is “mutazawija” (pronounced moo-tah-ZOW-widge-ah). When a woman says “Ana mutazawija”, it means “I’m married.” (For men, it’s “Ana mutazawij.”) I just think the word sounds cool. Thanks to Markus, I get to use it!

And last but never least, our precious Ellie is growing like a weed! Our favorite staff person in the Exec Lounge had two days off, and the first thing she said when she saw us today was, “Ellie got so much bigger!” How does it happen that they grow so fast? Our new pediatrician remarked that she’s going to be tall. We hope so!
Ellie has always been strong and quick to learn. Two days ago, she pulled herself into standing position in her stroller (she was sitting in her car seat, which was nestled backwards in her stroller at the time…she just leaned forward, grabbed the edge of the stroller, and stood up!). Now, it’s her favorite thing to try. She stood up in her play bed this afternoon just by pulling on a support with one hand. Got her papa’s genes…can’t sit still!

It seems we may be leaving the Ritz this week! The company won the battle for housing (i.e., we got tired of fighting them). Palm Plaza it is, with the promise of a move to a nicer compound in the future when one becomes available. Last week, we selected a house. The company housing dude said he would have it professionally cleaned by Monday of this week, and then our shipment could be delivered on Wednesday. The house has carpets in the bedrooms and lots of heavy drapes, so we are hoping the house cleaning will include thorough steam cleaning of those items...but we're not counting on it. Ah well. At least we know where we'll be living.
Although we greatly dislike the compound, the house itself is relatively nice. It has four bedrooms and a little garden in the back. The kitchen has a new stove. We got the only one that had a full bath in the downstairs guest room. We'll cling to the little things. :)

In other news, we picked up our car and have arranged to buy a second (absolutely must have two cars here). The settling in process has begun.

More pictures!


Ellie watches us constantly, and she tries to mimick much of what we do. This is especially true when it comes to drinking. Ellie has no interest in the sippy cup. She watches us drink from regular glasses or water bottles, and that's what she wants too (picture of her drinking from a glass coming soon)!



Today, we visited more souqs. This time, we went to the "old souqs", which have pretty much whatever you can think of (although much of it is cheap crap). Walking past the spice stalls filled our noses with amazing scents and our eyes with wonder (as in, "I wonder what THAT is?!"). The best part was seeing falcons for sale. March is the last month of falcon season (hunting with falcons is extremely popular here). Top birds are sold privately, but some falcons are available in the souqs, and we saw those today. Beautiful.

The population of Qatar is approaching one million persons, about 80% of those persons being expatriates (expats, for short--people who live outside their home country). Of all the expats here, most of the workers seem to be men, leaving lots of expat wives in the mix with little to do (other than shop) while the kids are in school. To remedy this, numerous women's groups have popped up around town: American Ladies Group, South African Ladies Group, AUZIQ (for Australians and Kiwis), Spanish-speaking Ladies, Expat Women, Tuesday Morning Ladies...and of course, there are the company-specific wives' groups as well. This week, Jennifer and Ellie attended two such groups: the company wives' coffee morning and the Tuesday Morning Ladies Group coffee morning and fashion show. For those of you lacking in excess comedy these days, read on for an account...

First, the company group. Oh my. In the past, I've avoided those coffee mornings entirely, assuming they simply wouldn't be my kind of thing. However, being new to Qatar and finding very little else to do here, I decided to give it a try. Let's just say my initial assumption held. It really wasn't my kind of thing. Although I was dressed in "smart casual", I was the only one not wearing a skirt or dress. The other ladies weren't very friendly. Making conversation was painful! No one seemed to want to meet new people...so, as the new people, we were left with no choice but to exit stage right after about 15 minutes.

Next, the Tuesday Morning Ladies. I have found a good friend in another American woman here in the Ritz, and she invited us to come along with her to try out this group. She had met a wonderful Scottish woman who recommended it, so we thought we'd give it a try. Oh my again. And again. We arrived at the Ramada for the coffee morning, and the room was a relatively small conference room with low ceilings and not much A/C...and it was packed with ladies, most of whom are at least 20 years older than I am. Again, not too many people wearing trousers or jeans. My claustrophobia (and general fear of lots of expat ladies in small quarters) kicked in immediately and I had the overwhelming urge to flee at top speed...except I'd come with a friend and was trapped. Instead, I opted to have some tea, which had cost me an unexpected fee at the door (QR 10 for tea, QR 10 because I wasn't a member, and QR 10 for charitable funds). There were indeed many cups, saucers and tea bags available...but no more hot water, so no tea. Alas. Just as I began to twitch with anxiety, a very proper English old biddy (picture Hyacinth Bucket, for those who are familiar) stepped up to the podium and says above the din of expat ladies' chatter, "I'm waiting...for silence." Now, we are in elementary school. It only got better. She went on with the morning's announcements, including disdain for the Ramada, which seems to be booked (heaven forbid!) at the time of the next Tuesday Morning Ladies' Group meeting, so "we must have an outing". Though inexact, her speech pretty much went as follows (to be read in a high British accent): "The outing will be a beauty day at two salons in the Royal Plaza. We will be divided into two groups on the day, and you will not be allowed to choose your group. Remember this if you come with a friend! You might not be in the same group and that is just how it is, ladies. No quabbling about it! The beauty morning will begin at 9:30. That's 9:30, ladies! NOT 9:15. NOT 9:45. NINE. THIRTY." By now, I'm giggling. Then, the fashion show began. About ten of the ladies had volunteered to model fashions that were...shall we say...for a different age group and taste than mine. Then, there was a little raffle for charity and it was over. Something tells me that the Tuesday Morning Ladies Group isn't really my thing either.

On the drive home, my friend's husband called her cell phone to see how it went. She gave a brief synopsis and concluded with, "Where are all the young, fun expat wives??!!" His response was, "In your car right now."
The man has a point.

This morning, we headed to the souqs (rhymes with "spooks") to see what we could see. The souqs are vibrant, open-air markets where you can find just about anything, if you look. We stuck to the fruit and vegetable market (where we couldn't take any pictures...lots of people, and you have to ask permission from locals for photographs). Then, we went in search of the animal market, where we'd heard everything from pigeons to camels were available for sale. Success! We found the animal market after a bit of searching. Let's just say that this is the place to shop if you want to become a shepherd. I've never seen so many sheep available for sale! Sheep, sheep, and more sheep! Some cows. And yes, many many many pigeons too. The best part was the camels. Big camels, little camels, beige camels, dark camels... What fun! We've been debating which vehicles to buy to facilitate desert travels and off-road adventures. I think camels provide an ideal solution! Won't get stuck in the sand, roll down a dune, or overheat far from an auto service. Unfortunately, the animal market looked rather shabby. It made us feel a bit sorry for the critters. We didn't get out of the car much, so no new camels for us. Ellie slept through the whole experience. She just cut tooth number too, so she's exhausted!

The newest Executive Lounge reception staff member



Sorry we haven't posted in a while. Ellie has had a cold. She hasn't been feeling great and hasn't been sleeping much (thanks to a very stuffy nose)...meaning neither have we. The three of us are all exhausted. Thank goodness it is finally the weekend. We hope to recoup a bit.

The latest word on the housing front is that we won't get any more choices, although technically other homes are available. The company has made numerous exceptions to their housing policy to let other families into better compounds, leaving these two remaining compounds relatively unfilled because no one wants them. The homes in them aren't all that bad, if we're honest. In Palm Plaza, the houses are actually quite new and quite decent. It's the facilities and the locations that are so problematic. It's hard to be content with Palm Plaza, a little cul-de-sac in a not-so-nice neighborhood with a tiny outdoor pool for all 14 houses, when you know there are homes available (as in the company is paying for them to stand empty) in compounds that have trees and places to walk and play, with large indoor and outdoor pools, playgrounds, gyms, yoga rooms... You see our point. For some reason, the company has laid down the law in our case and outright refuses to make any exceptions to their policies that reserve these homes for larger families (at least two kids), although we are aware of at least five cases in which they've already made exceptions. We've even brought forth the point that we will be here for four years and are likely to have a second child in the time, but they won't budge. My guess is that they are angry about being stuck with these two compounds nobody wants and have decided to fill them, tough luck if you don't like it. In addition, they refuse to allow us to find our own house. We're very frustrated. In either compound we choose, there is nowhere to take Ellie on walks or out to play unless we pop her into the (steaming hot) car every single time and drive somewhere else. ARGH!

At least it's the weekend, and Markus, for the moment, doesn't have to work like he did last week. We're hoping to get out and explore a bit, trying to make the best of this extremely frustrating posting. We're sure it will get better. We just have to get settled into some kind of routine and find something we like to do here.
On the positive side, we did find a FABULOUS club yesterday. We liked it instantly and submitted our application straight away. Unfortunately, there is a waiting list as they are trying to keep the member list short, so keep your fingers crossed that we will get in!

Greetings to all y'all! (can you tell we miss New Orleans a bit?)
More photos from the hotel to share...

a fabulous sunbather


view of the hotel from its outdoor pool


a sleepy stroll


shisha pipes


the huge lobby chandelier